*phew*

finally. blocks are over. and i have a five day weekend.

call me crazy. but i actually enjoyed the entire mugging process. all those hours spent entirely with you. and only you. from the early hours of the morning when your face lights up my day brighter than the sunshine. till the late evening walking by your side putting a beautiful end to a beautiful day spent with you. with maths chem physics and econs notes being the lightbulbs =)


incredibly, the existence of huge empty spaces in my papers even after three hours staring at them with a fully-filled pen and a half-filled brain, showing the probable kind of grades i will get, im not stressed out or depressed or even the slightest worried. im just relieved i can now put the burden of the blocks behind me for an even more important priority.

since sec one july has been an important month for me. no its not because its my mum's birthday.

its because, coming round the corner (in a week to be exact), its the andrenalin rush of another nationals experience.

i wake up in the morning without the usual daze. my mind gets unusually clear and firm --- it is today. when i go up the steps to the stadium stands where the chinese high contingent is, when i look around, i take it all in. to the right, countless clusters of track teams from the different schools. would-be competitors doing their warm ups, taking in nervous breaths, just waiting for the announcement for the commencement of their events. to the left, the magnificent track, all 400 metres of it, and the huge green field, where we will be, throwing our hearts out. i take it all in.

and when the time comes, when i step into the air conditioned reporting room my heart pumps faster than the fists of a boxer. my hands tremble and legs go numb as we all look at each other and make nervous conversation. its funny how when we meet in other competitions and we can talk and laugh and not hear this much nervousness in our voices. such is the weight of the tag 'nationals' in front of the championship name.

and when i finally step outside wearing the chinese high red and yellow (who's that in that awful looking suit?) track suit, the first step into the arena always comes with this thought --- this is it, where months of training, both sweat and tears (of joy, frustration or pure heartbreak) have brought my feet here. the shouts of encouragement from the stands ring in my ears as we march past, into the arena, where we take off our track suits from the different schools, put on our shoes, and thus it begins.

its been like this for two years.

im looking forward to it for the third year.

i still remember my first nationals experience, going in as an underdog. the estactic feeling of finally tasting my first victory. sweet. i was fourteen. it was a true fight to the end. the win came with a nice momentum build-up to a run and a final roar. the congratulations were sincere. the trophy never looked so gorgeous in its golden colour.

last year, at sixteen, i went into the nationals for the second time. an unlucky pull of a muscle in my elbow three weeks before the nationals was all i could think of. it hadnt healed properly. but it held. although i knew i could have done better had it not been for this untimely injury. another roar finished it off, making me the fourth chinese high boy to break the 50m barrier during the nationals in chronological order. amusingly, only the bottom of the trophy was gold. the top was a fanciful prism-like thing. relief was the overwhelming feeling.

this year. my third time. a second shot at the record. my elbow's intact. i can go for it. i will go for it. it will be another roar.

honestly, i can't wait for the same experience of climbing the steps up to the stadium. i've always enjoyed wearing the tshirt, jersey, track suit, with the chinese high name and the label of team champion as i walk into the stadium among the competitors. you get this dominant feeling. its a really good feeling.

it doesnt feel as if the whole world is against me. its exactly the opposite.

its me against the whole world.

this year, im not going to let you have the bragging rights for another consecutive year as the best. last year you popped into the scene with a shocking 5-7 on the score sheet next to your name. this year, im not going to let you have it that way again. and i have full faith in my seniors to put you down, because they are not going to let you have that way again. on thursday we shall see how you do it after three months of training. then on the following monday, i promise, it will be my turn.

there can only be one best. second-best is never as good as the best. never.

'one of the best' is bullshit.

its seven days to the qualifying. thats next friday. after that, on the following monday, it begins.


and oh yeah. good luck to the canoe girls for their nationals =D
NUTS OR CRACKERS?:)