haha this blog seems so dead. so i shall listen to her and revive it =)

june holidays are here! for some it means studying for block tests. for some, yours truly included, it means studying for block tests AND preparing for nationals.

since i dont know what to blog about, shall just try to blog about training. for those who are disappointed thinking my revival post will be something grand and fantastic, wow im sooo apologetic.

so here goes...

training in the holidays are really tiring me out. three full days (spending the whole day in school training twice in that day) and two half days each week. sometimes i wonder why i chose to wake up early in the morning, pack my clothes and towel and soaps all squeezed into my poor bag, and drag my really tired looking feet all the way to bukit timah.

i could have followed in the footsteps of my fellow college teammates and train three half days a week. better still, they arrived really late yesterday strolling in and began their chit chat session which lasted the whole training session. sometimes, i begin to think, that i can see the reasons exactly WHY the coaches made such a decision to bring the majority of the jc1 athletes and push them down to save the fifteen year legacy of the b division at the expense of the a division title.

i am starting to think, that the coaches did not say that the a division athletes are lacking discipline, for no reason. but of course, there are a few exceptions, just that few athletes so dedicated to their events, coming down for trainings more frequently than the others, working hard to do their personal best. and i kinda respect them more.

i'm really envious of people in ccas where the team spirit is really strong, where every training you go there will always be your teammates training with you. you meet up with your teammates after lessons and go for trainings together, train hard together and sweat together and be there for one another during trainings, after trainings you slack around and chat together or go for dinners together and go home together. you push each other to train hard and not slack during trainings, your teammates make 'training' so much more than what the dictionary say it means, and best of all, you actually look forward to trainings. it used to be like this. remembering the days of old when we were in the high school, we used to do all that, we trained so hard together, we pushed each other to go for trainings, we could say we grew up together those past four years, spending nearly everyday together in the gym, at the track, forging strong bonds of friendships. i used to look forward to training. that was how it used to be.

now, i look elsewhere for the motivation to go for training. i can dare say that theres not much of a team to speak of anymore.

when the coaches announced their decision to kinda sacrifice a division to save the b division by pulling some jc1 athletes down, the seniors were talking about either giving up and totally slacking off, since they were predicted to lose anyways, or continue training for what one particular as-mentioned-before dedicated senior calls affectionately, "personal glory".

i think thats one reason for training.

personally, i really reject the idea of pulling me down to b division. i had so looked forward to competing in a division, where the competition is many times much tougher, and its my one and only chance of taking on my seniors. its like, in the past during b division competitions we used to lament and complain and bitch about schools 'playing cheat' by sending 17 year olds to compete when we can only send 16 year olds, unless the guy's already overaged. now, we are doing the exact same thing. to quote some fellow athlete, even if we do win the b division with this 'tactic', it will be a 'dishonourable victory', and we can be labelled 'cheats' in the eyes of our competitors.

ladies and gentlemen, we are losing our principles, all that moral bullcrap that school taught us, to save our face. NICE.

anyways, back to my senior's 'personal glory'. so one main factor that's dragging my exhausted and motivation-less body over to the track every morning in this holidays when i can actually slack all i want at home (believe me, training isnt all that compulsory for me afterall), is the smell of personal glory. i just want to compete for myself.

nationals is the traditional selection ground for the athletes who will represent singapore in the annual asean schools track and field championships, selection is based on the best athlete, the CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS, among the a and b divisions. no, not separately, but both divisions combined, the best is selected. last year, i had a busted elbow during nationals, costing me an opportunity to compete in this competition. this year, i'm going all the way. i want to be that champion of champions. i think i can do it...

just like someone said, 'dream big'.

my goal: asean 2006

sorry if you find my ramblings on and on about training really boring. just that when i started rambling about training and cca, it all just came to my mind. when i think of something nicer to blog about i'll tell you! =)

for now, good night people! study hard for block tests!
NUTS OR CRACKERS?:)